I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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