the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize