I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Still dying that you shit outside
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
