oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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