I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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