I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
