you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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