well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
