honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
