I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
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