it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
50% drunk capacity currently
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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