You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
