Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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