Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize