How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
