I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
