a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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