when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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