So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
