just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize