he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
