I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
