I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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