For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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