Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
