I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize