Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
