i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
