i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
well you can't waste a boner
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
