I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
