Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
