why didn't you poke me back
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
