i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
