guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
