Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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