the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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