You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
