Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
