I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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