I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
