Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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