So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
