Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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