Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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