It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
