Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
