You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
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