i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
