Duck Duck Cougar?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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