Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
