Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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