Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
