she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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