I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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