I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
