is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
