im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just want to make out with him forever
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
