Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
