Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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