She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
